There is a joke that scientists are starting to use lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Apparently, scientists have become very attached to mice and there are some things that even mice won’t do.
Is this sarcastic? Maybe. But there is also an element of truth when it comes to lawyers and divorce. During a divorce, your emotions are on high alert and you may not be thinking clearly. This lack of focus for attorney clients is like blood in the water for sharks.
If you can put your emotions aside for just a moment, you and your spouse will realize that mediation is a much better option than turning to lawyers and the courts.
An important point – you do not need the courts to decide the division of marital assets, child support, and spousal support during a divorce. You only need the courts to make the whole process official and final. If both parties to a marriage can submit a self-negotiated settlement to the courts, the courts fully agree to this option. This is why it is important to do most of the essential work before appearing in court.
If you try to negotiate a settlement through the respective attorneys, you will end up spending more money, you really need to.
Imagine this scenario – Attorney A sends Lawyer B a letter stating where his clients stand on any given issue. Lawyer B receives the documents from Attorney A and then issues his document back to Attorney A acknowledging receipt of the documents from Lawyer A. Attorney A then sends a quick note to Lawyer B acknowledging receipt of the documents. If you listen carefully, here the lawyers can laugh silently as they calculate exactly how many payments they can make on their luxury luxury car on your back.
As silly as this sounds, I’m embarrassed to admit that this actually happened to me. It’s crazy knowing that thousands of dollars were spent needlessly because two parties couldn’t come up with their own solution. If you let your emotions run high, lawyers will take advantage of this weakness and start charging you hundreds of dollars for an administrative tug of war.
I realize that it is unfair to stereotype an entire profession or group of individuals, but if lawyers put their clients’ interests to the core, they will send their clients a message that says – negotiate a settlement or we will charge you a large sum of money for your stupidity.
There are other options available if you and your partner are unable to negotiate an agreement yourselves. Mediation is a viable option that can get the job done and save both parties a significant amount of money. Eventually, long after the divorce has ended and feelings have subsided, both parties will be grateful for using mediation.
Like all things in life, choose a broker wisely. Not all brokers are efficient and effective. If you can find a mediator that both parties agree on, you are well on your way to dissolving your marriage.