Internet addiction, pornography and divorce
As a divorce attorney, I increasingly see cases where Internet addiction, and especially Internet pornography addiction, plays a role in divorce, is a factor in custody decisions, and may also be an issue in the division of marital property. In one case, a parent’s excessive use of the Internet and the resulting neglect of their child played an important role in the final custody decision.
Internet pornography has been dubbed the “quiet family killer.” Adultery is now just a click of the mouse. In 2004, Dr. Manning testified before the US Congress that 56% of divorces involved an obsessive Internet addiction by one spouse. In a survey of members of the American Academy of Marriage Lawyers, 60% of lawyers believed that Internet pornography was associated with higher divorce rates. The American Psychiatric Association has recognized Internet addiction disorder (IAD) as a legitimate health problem. IAD is also considered for admission as a mental disorder in the DSM-V.
Like other addictions, Internet addiction can poison the social, work, and family relationships of the addict. I’ve heard that couples call themselves “Internet widows”. Excessive time online often leads to neglect of family, friends, social activities, and interests. Children in particular can be victims of parental internet addiction. Young children are harmed if they are inadvertently exposed to Internet pornography. Experts see that the average person is first exposed to Internet pornography at the age of nine. Children may feel neglected and neglected by parents who use the Internet excessively, and at worst, they may be abused if the parent gets angry when they are interrupted. Serious cases have been reported where Internet addiction has led to the death of children. For example, a Florida mother killed her 3-month-old baby because of his frequent crying and interrupting her play Farmville. A Korean couple has been tried for murder when they left their child to starve while raising a virtual child online.
The first thing a divorce attorney should do if they suspect that a parent is addicted to the Internet is to find out if the children have been exposed to any harmful or sexually explicit material and how much time that parent spends on the Internet. Has the parent taken any security precautions to prevent exposure to sexually explicit material online? It may be possible to call up Internet sites to determine the amount of time a parent spends at a particular site. A parent who plays World of Warcraft all day is hardly in a position to say that they provide proper supervision and care to their children. It may also be possible to obtain a command to search the parent’s computer. Court-appointed nursery evaluators often ask to look at parents’ computers during home visits. In a reported Connecticut case, a court ordered the couple to exchange passwords for Facebook and other dating sites as part of the discovery process.
But before you wake up to your husband’s computer, have a word of caution. Most states have strict privacy laws. Anyone going through a divorce is advised to rely on their attorney to discover incriminating evidence and should not take matters into their own hands. In a California case, an appellate court found that an ex-husband’s intrusion into his ex-wife’s email account during a bitter custody dispute could be “abuse” and grounds for a domestic violence restraining order. In the Cincinnati case, the husband was forced to apologize to his wife on his Facebook page or face imprisonment.
Another aspect of internet addiction that may come as a surprise to those going through a divorce is how it can affect the division of property. It was news to me that online creations like avatars, weapons, and fantasy worlds can be valuable pairwise assets. A virtual space station on Planet Calypso has reportedly been sold for $330,000. The owners of the computer game “Second Life” estimated user transactions at $567 million in 2009, and a Chinese woman, Ailin Graef, reportedly acquired $1 million in virtual real estate. On the other hand, if your spouse is not the hypothetical billionaire and has wasted thousands of dollars on online games, you may be able to claim compensation on the grounds that they intentionally embezzled the marital money.