1. Bullies will take any insult, real or imagined, and use it as a weapon against their victims. Another favorite trick is when the bully invents a crime and accuses the victim of committing it.
2. Bullies are disguised liars who are good at convincing innocent people with their dirty work. Often, the innocent party does not see the manipulation.
3. Bullies will form alliances with anyone who helps them achieve their goals. Later, they can turn on their former ally in the blink of an eye.
4. When confronted, the bully may tell those in authority that your experiences are wrong. Just as you cannot prove (in an individual situation) what the bully is saying is false, the bully cannot show what you have said is false. It is an untenable position.
5. The purpose of the bully is to cause psychological harm and suffering.
6. If you are dealing with a workplace bully, know that: In more than 75% of situations, the target individual leaves. No matter how much you love or appreciate your work, it’s not worth fighting a bully. Psychological damage can be devastating over time.
7. It is important to know that a bully is not an ordinary person. They spring into a fight, and anything you do to fight back is fuel for the bully. They love the conflict and want it to continue.
8. You will discover in many publications that the bully suffers from one or more types of personality disorders.
9. The effects of bullying are much worse than most people realize, especially in childhood.
10. The bully has a mentality where he must win at all costs. I ended up dealing with a bully in Mexico who stole my damage deposit. I resisted.
Once, a bully was stalking me with three lawyers. When it came time to agree to refund my money, he sent me a legal document full of extortion and extortion. She refused to sign, and this angered the bully.
Around the same time, I learned that the only way to win is to lose, which means walking away and never coming back. I did, and the bully yelled at me via email for months, before quitting. A year later, he came back and tried to lure me back into the fight. I ignored him, and he finally gave up.
The bottom line is, if you want to recover from the trauma of bullying, you must remove the bully from your life. If you don’t, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to recover.
When a bully isn’t in your life
For some people, it is enough to take the bully out of their lives and they will begin to recover. Others have been traumatized by the constant harassment that has caused a psychological injury, sometimes known as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
If this happens to you, then you know you are in trouble. Fortunately, help is there. I work with Hamish Payston, a trainer who specializes in working with victims of bullying. With his training, you can remove the trauma of bullying from your life, change your limiting beliefs, stop obsessive thinking and start living a normal life, free from the trauma of bullying.