Yesterday’s Private Investigator (PI), the only vigilante who single-handedly corrected mistakes, has gone, leaving the world a better place as he disappeared from those dusty streets to another case. Don’t get me wrong, a 21st century PI has been working alone for some time, but he (or she) would be a fool to work that way 24/7, especially with a network of other PIs and reliable data and resources (eg, via Internet).
Let’s start dusting off some of the old and cliched myths about PI yesterday by reviewing some real-life pet peeves about their fictional counterparts.
Realistic Pet PIs About Fantasy PIs
A group of PIs were asked what misconceptions they would like to correct in PI’s representations in novels, films, and television. Here are some of their responses:
stay legal. At least 80% of PIs surveyed posed this as their number one pet nuisance. Fictional PIs often appear doing illegal things when the real-life PI is bound by the laws. Because if they don’t, they could lose their business and their license – a risk the principal investigator is not willing to take. If the principal investigator does not know their legal rights, they know how to research the law or have an attorney/client to seek advice. No lead researcher worth the proverbial salt goes into a legally ambiguous position without knowing exactly what the legal process is. Slips and missteps spoil the PI’s reputation, which is perhaps their most important asset because it reflects their ethics and skills.
be ready. Colombo (the detective from the ’70s series of the same name) always (again and again) returns to the witness, before finally asking Zinger’s question. He never seemed to have a plan for how to get the information in one fell swoop. Today’s principal investigator usually has one shot, and only one shot, when interviewing a witness. There isn’t any stutter around it – it has to get to the point. This means getting ready. When the PI contacts a witness for the first time, the PI needs to know the purpose of his questioning as well as the questions themselves. Sometimes, legal investigators (principal investigators working for attorneys) come armed with police reports or previous statements of a witness. For example, sometimes a previous witness statement to the investigator, during the interview, reveals that the witness’s statements have inconsistencies – such inconsistencies in a person’s story indicate that the witness is not reliable.
Observational fantasies. The principal investigator scoffs at the idea that a solitary principal investigator can easily carry out successful ambulatory monitoring (i.e., following someone in the car) for hours upon hours. Mobile observations typically require at least two PIs in two vehicles, and even so the success rate (per PI stats) is 50%. However, one will repeatedly read (or watch in a movie) a lead researcher who magically follows a person who weaves in and out of traffic, turns, speeds up, and navigates through intersections for an entire day! Try following a friend in traffic (especially when you don’t know where he’s going) and notice how easy it is to lose his car.
Business savvy.Too many PI stories ignore that the PI is running a business that entails negotiating and writing contracts, managing money (and sometimes affiliate PIs), purchasing/upgrading office equipment, writing reports, etc. / Client which includes all the legal ramifications that come with any client case.
violence. Real PIs don’t hit people first, even if they’re crazy. In fact, they do not engage in violence any more than they engage in burglary or theft. Debate continues within the PI community over whether rifles or other self-defense weapons should be carried.
Make it whiskey chic. Not all real-life PIs get drunk like Philip Marlowe or Sam Speed, and if they slip or get hit by a juicer, they’ll be ashamed of their lack of planning. Today’s principal investigators would not happen to have their senses impaired as this could be used to discredit them if they had to testify in court about their observations.
This is a good place to jot down things that today’s PI would never do. If a writer chooses to have his/her PI do any of these work, it prepares the PI to be in depth with what you know (although this may also be what you, as the writer want. In order for your PI to know what it is It’s illegal instead of writing something obvious that he doesn’t know, right?).
A PI who wants to keep his/her job/license/profession/reputation will never:
Use these myth scammers and tips to create clever 21st century master hunters who will keep readers turning the pages of your stories.